Letting Go: Life After Rosslyn
by Misha
Summary: Alternate reality. Josh is killed at Rosslyn and Donna, the woman he left behind, has to continue on and forge a new life for herself in the shadow of tragedy.
1. Part One: The Calm Before the Storm

The Calm Before the Storm   
By Misha 

Disclaimer: These characters are the property of NBC, Aaron Sorkin, or whoever. ÊI'm not writing this for profit in any way, shape, or form, but because I have a lot of spare time on my hands. 

Author's Notes- This is the first in my "Letting Go" series. This series is an alternate to Rosslyn and is based on two short stories of mine, "Remembrance" and "Tradition". This is the back-story to those pieces. The series itself is very angsty and full of tragic twists and turns. Sorry, I'm a sucker for melodrama. Oh, and it's set in an alternate world were Josh and Donna were involved all through out the first season, okay? Anyway, I hope you like it! 

Couples: Josh/Donna 

Spoilers: What Kind of Day Has This Been and In the Shadow of Two Gun Men 1&2 

Rating: PG-13

* * *

"Where's Donna?" Sam Seaborn asked his best friend as the two of them headed into the Newsem. 

"At home." Josh Lyman answered. "I sent her home early, cause I know that she wanted to call her mom and stuff, and she's not really needed here." 

"Oh." Sam said with a nod. 

Josh grinned. "We're engaged." 

"We are?" Sam asked, then he blinked. "Oh, you and Donna. Really? When did that happen?" 

"Last night." Josh confirmed with a grin. 

"Have you told C.J yet?" Sam asked. It was common knowledge in the West Wing that Josh and Donna had been quietly involved for months, but it could still cause a scandal. 

"Of course, she's the first call, remember?" Josh grinned. "She said that the right wing might cause a small rumble, but that there's nothing all that scandalous about marriage, especially since Donna's not pregnant or anything." 

"Wow." Sam said. "Marriage." 

Josh smiled. "I know. Marriage." 

"Are you the same Josh Lyman that I've known for years?" Sam teased. "The one who ran away in fear when a woman even hinted at the word marriage?" 

Josh just shrugged. "This is different. This is Donna. She's definitely the one." 

The two friends exchanged smiles and then stopped talking as the President began his speech.

* * *

Josh and Sam exited the building together after the speech. 

"You'll be my Best Man, right?" Josh asked. 

"Of course." Sam told him. "I mean, I better be." 

The two men grinned at each other, then Sam made a face. "I've got to go check with Toby about something." 

Josh nodded. "Okay. I'll meet up with you back at the White House." 

Sam nodded and headed to go find Toby. 

He saw C.J and just as he was about to ask her if she had seen Toby, he heard the loud noise. 

Suddenly, in an instant, there was chaos. 

Sam could hear the shots, as he hurriedly pushed C.J to the ground. 

For a moment, all he was aware of was the gunfire and the screams, then the shots stopped and he heard the frantic calls of "Who's been hit?" 

He got up from the ground and looked around at the world in panic, wondering where everyone was and if they were okay. 

He and C.J were both fine, but what about everyone else? What about the President? 

Sam just stood there, looking around, a sinking feeling in his stomach. He couldn't explain it, but he just knew that something terrible had just happened and that things were about to get worse.

* * *

End of Part One 


	2. Part Two: Aftermath

Aftermath   
By Misha 

Disclaimer: These characters are the property of NBC, Aaron Sorkin, or whoever. ÊI'm not writing this for profit in any way, shape, or form, but because I have a lot of spare time on my hands. 

Author's Notes- This is the second in my "Letting Go" series. This series is an alternate to Rosslyn and is based on two short stories of mine, "Remembrance" and "Tradition". This is the back-story to those pieces. The series itself is very angsty and full of tragic twists and turns. Sorry, I'm a sucker for melodrama. Oh, and it's set in an alternate world were Josh and Donna were involved all through out the first season, okay? Also, this one is set right after the shooting, but it's been forever since I've seen either WKoDHTB or ItSoTG, so I just basically made things up. After all, this is pretty much an AU. Anyway, I hope you like it! 

Couples- Josh/Donna 

Spoilers- What Kind of Day Has This Been and In the Shadow of Two Gun Men 1&2 

Rating- PG-13

* * *

The moments after the shooting were the most chaotic of Sam's life. 

When asked later, he couldn't recall any of the details. The only thing he really remembered was Toby finding Josh. 

Even then, everything after is still fuzzy. 

They rushed to the hospital to learnt that the President had been shot as well, though his was not nearly as serious as Josh's and Josh was rushed into surgery. 

Then, he and Toby sat in the hospital waiting room, along with Zoey, Charlie, and the First Lady waiting for news. 

Leo was back at the White House holding court and C.J was doing her bit with the press. Though Sam knew that the two of them would spend as much time at the hospital as they could. 

Sam and Toby were also busy doing their part in the frantic aftermath, though Sam refused to leave the hospital until there was news. 

It was all a frantic blur. 

But, then after that he remembered everything. 

Especially when forty-five minutes after they arrived at the hospital, Donna showed up. 

Zoey was the first to notice her. "Donna." 

"I heard about the shooting on the radio and rushed down to see what I could do." Donna explained, then she looked around. "Where's Josh?" 

Toby stood up and looked at her. "Donna..." 

"No!" Donna cried, shaking her head. "No! Please tell me... Not Josh!" 

Sam stood up and took Donna into his arms as she began to cry. 

"How bad is it?" She asked finally. 

"Pretty bad." The First Lady told her. "I've asked them to keep me posted. He was shot in the chest, Donna." 

Donna collapsed against Sam and he led her to a chair. 

"He was supposed to come straight home." Donna whispered. "We were going to celebrate. Start planning the wedding." 

Sam could see Toby and the First Lady exchange looks. 

"The wedding?" Abby asked quietly. 

"Josh asked her to marry him last night." Sam explained. 

"Well, with any luck Josh will recover and you'll have your wedding as soon as he gets well." Abby promised. 

Donna just smiled weakly.

* * *

They were all in the hospital fourteen long hours later, Leo and C.J included, when Josh's doctor walked into the waiting room. 

"Is there news?" Mary Lyman asked standing up. 

Donna clung to Sam's hand. 

The doctor nodded. "I'm sorry, we did all that we could, but there was too much damage. We lost him." 

Donna stared at the doctor for a moment and then broke down into sobs. 

Sam held her as she cried, his own tears flowing down his cheeks. 

A quick look around the room showed him that everyone else was reacting the same way. Quiet sobs for the loss of a good man who had died too young. 

Sam couldn't believe it. It couldn't be true. Joshua Lyman couldn't be dead. 

Yet, he was. His life taken needlessly at the age of thirty-eight. 

It was a waste.

* * *

C.J stood on her podium at the Press Room. She looked around the room and took a deep breath, trying to prepare herself for the moment. 

After all, this was the hardest thing she had ever had to do. 

"White House Deputy Chief of Staff, Joshua Lyman died an hour ago." She told the room. She heard the gasps from the reporters and continued. "He was thirty-eight years old and is survived by his mother, Mary, and his fiance, Donna Moss." 

It had been Donna's choice whether or not C.J's announced the engagement and she had decided that it was okay. That she wanted to know that she and Josh had been in love and promised to one another, though they had never been able to take the vows that would bind them together under God. 

"Josh Lyman was shot last night in Rosslyn, Virginia, where he was accompanying the President. He died several hours later in surgery. President Bartlett was also shot and is nicely recovering from surgery. Any questions?"

* * *

End of Part Two 


	3. Part Three: How Do I Live?

How Do I Live?  
By Misha

Disclaimer: These characters are the property of NBC, Aaron Sorkin, or whoever. I'm not writing this for profit in any way, shape, or form, but because I have a lot of spare time on my hands.

Author's Notes- This is the third story in my "Letting Go" series. This series is an alternate to Rosslyn and is based on two short stories of mine, "Remembrance" and "Tradition". This is the back-story to those pieces. The series itself is very angsty and full of tragic twists and turns. Sorry, I'm a sucker for melodrama. Oh, and it's set in an alternate world were Josh and Donna were involved all through out the first season, okay? Also, this one is set right after the shooting, but it's been forever since I've seen either WKoDHTB or ItSoTG, so I just basically made things up. After all, this is pretty much an AU. Anyway, I hope you like it!

Couples- Josh/Donna

Spoilers- What Kind of Day Has This Been and In the Shadow of Two Gun Men 1&2

Rating- PG-13

* * *

"Are you ready for tomorrow?" C.J asked Donna softly.

"No." Donna told her. "How could I ever be ready for my fiancé's funeral? But I'll cope."

"I wish I could say it won't be that bad, but I can't." C.J said bluntly. "There'll be a lot of media attention and most of it will be focused on you. The beautiful fiance Josh left behind."

"You mean they won't focus on the fact that I was his assistant?" Donna said bitterly. "After all, he's dead, so now what would have been bad-mouthed, is a tragic romance."

"I'm sorry." C.J said softly.

Donna smiled slightly. "It's okay. I understand that it's the way it works. I've lived in this town long enough to know that."

"It sucks." C.J agreed. "But you'll have all of us there."

"I know." Donna said softly. "That's the only reason that I think I can do this. I couldn't do it alone."

"You won't have to." C.J assured her. "You won't be alone at all tomorrow. There'll be someone at your side at all times." C.J paused. "Sam would like to escort you into the Cathedral, Leo will escort Mrs. Lyman."

Donna nodded. "That's fine. I think I'll probably be grateful for someone to cling to." 

"I can imagine." C.J said, reaching out to hug Donna. "Just know that you aren't alone, we're all here for you."

"I know." Donna whispered. "It's the one reason I think I'll survive this. I know I couldn't do it on my own."

* * *

The next day, Donna felt as if the whole world was falling apart on her. Only by sheer will was she managing to hold it together.

"How you hanging in there?" Sam whispered, as he sat next to her during the service.

Donna just shrugged, her eyes glued to the casket containing the man she loved. Joshua Jaccob Lyman returned to the Earth at the age 38. It didn't seem real or possible that tomorrow she would fly to Connecticut and watch as he was lowered into the ground, his life forever ended.

Their life together over before it really had a chance to begin. She thought of all their plans. The wedding and the children, the lifetime together that they had dreamed about.

She and Josh were supposed to have a life together, instead she was sitting here listening to people eulogise the man she had loved, their life together nothing more than a dream that could never come true. She had found her Prince Charming in Josh and thought she had found her happily ever after, but she should have known that fairy tales never came true.

* * *

"Sam?" 

Sam turned to see Mallory there. "Hey." He greeted, accepting the hug she offered.

"How are you doing?" She asked softly.

"I'm hanging in there." He told her. "Mostly, I'm just keeping an eye out for Donna." 

"How's she doing?" Mallory asked.

"Badly." Sam told her. "BUt what can you expect? She was supposed to be planning a wedding, not a funeral." "

I had no idea they were even together, let alone engaged." Mallory admitted. 

"It was a well kept secret." Sam told her. "But I thank God that they were, because at least they got to experience a little bit of happiness together."

"Yeah, it makes you think." Mallory said softly. "Sam, I know this isn't the time or place, but give me a call sometime."

Sam nodded. "Okay."

She gave him another hug and walked away.

* * *

"Donna, how are you doing?" President Bartlett asked her.

Donna gave him a sad smile. "Badly." She told him. "I just--It's Josh. How are you doing Mr. President?"

She knew that he had been released early, on his own command, to attend the funeral. 

"I'll be fine." He told her. "Don't worry about me. Now Donna, this isn't the time, but I want to assure you that we'll always have a place for you here at the WHite House." 

"Thank you, Sir." Donna said softly. "I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't imagine working here without Josh."

"None of us can." Jed told her honestly. "But we can't imagine this place without you either, Donna, we'll mix up the staff a little bit, do some shuffling, so you'll be comfortable, but we want you to stay."

"Can I think about it?" She asked softly.

"Of course." He told her. "I didn't mean to pressure you, it's natural that you have other things on your mind." He took her hand in his. "We all miss him, Donna, it's not going to be the same without him."

"No." Donna agreed sadly, accepting the hug that he offered. "It won't."

She wondered how she was going to survive the coming days, weeks, years without him. How was she possibly going to find the strength to go on?

* * *


End file.
